---hoochie mama.

Chinese Doctoring Public Perception During Olympics

(dérobé à the onion, ENCORE)
In the opening ceremony for the 2008 Olympics, the Chinese digitally enhanced a fireworks display and replaced a 7-year-old singing girl with a "cuter" lip-syncher. In what other ways have the Chinese been trying to cover up perceived imperfections?

- Entire Wenchuan region, which was devastated by the 8.0-magnitude earthquake in May, has been covered with a 1,600-square-mile canvas bearing the phrase "Go for the gold!"

- Calling canoeing competitions "interesting".

- Beijing's homeless have been freeze-dried and painted to resemble terra-cotta warriors.

-Opening drumming sequence performed entirely by professional drummers who had undergone months of rehearsal.

- Extra soy sauce.

- Cotton balls glued into sickly pandas' bald spots.

- Entire Chinese population CGI-ed.

- Holding massive two-week sporting spectacle to distract from environmental calamities, mass poverty, and human rights abuse.